How much talking is too much in a relationship

Couples enter counseling with the idea that they need to learn better communication skills. The problem is NOT about communication. Or more accurately, about the LACK of connection.

In general, women connect by talking. Talking about our feelings makes us feel young and insecure; it regresses us. Trust me, it puts a big damper in the romance department and in your sex life. So women connect through sharing their feelings.

This is a big part of why the majority of psychotherapy patients are women. Do they NEED to go there? Sometimes they absolutely do. And as a couple in couples counseling it also works, at least to a limited degree. With connection comes intimacy and passion. Talking makes us feel weak. Talking makes us feel vulnerable. Talking makes us feel anxious. Talking makes us feel shame. And when we feel like that, we tend to act out our insecurities in our relationships and take it out on YOU!

Yes we want it our way in our own time. For most of us, this reaction is primal and is quite challenging to change. Even with years of therapy, we will only become aware of it and manage it a little bit better. Adds Martinez, "Only under a circumstance in which you are in a unique situation — not often, and not for no reason. If there is a purpose, or something funny about it, then go for it. But not just gratuitous pictures of yourself.

It could come off as self-absorbed. Ultimately, you know your partner and your relationship best. Howard-Blackburn agrees: "There is a seductive mystery about receiving a naughty text from your partner in the middle of the day, or right around the 2 p. Sexting can also be used as a form of foreplay.

But don't throw caution to the wind. My rule of thumb for sexting is that I only do it when I know where my partner is and that it will be safe for them to receive that message. That way I know it will be safe, and if the sext sparks something, the action can start right away. Texting is all well and good, but when it comes to an actual conversation with your partner, pick up the phone.

Tessina agrees. This article was originally published on Dec. Updated: July 7, But, is talking on the phone too much a bad sign? It could be, if your phone calls keep you or your partner from fulfilling your obligations. Once the routine changes, you or your partner are left wondering what happened. If you set unreasonable expectations, then it may make your partner wonder [why] you went from speaking six hours a day to one hour. On the other hand, when you begin to feel like talking on the phone for hours at a time is a chore, it may be a sign that you and bae are doing it too much.

If your partner doesn't feel like you two talk on the phone too much, it could be an indicator that your phone calls means more to them than it seems on the surface.